The Duncan Flood

I've talked before about how I used to work as a patrol guard in Duncan. So it was with special interest that I watched the news about the flooding in town there.

I'm dating myself, as if I have a choice anymore, but it was thirty years ago virtually to the day that the Cowichan Valley Regional District hired me to patrol the dikes along the Cowichan River. It was a similar weather situation when I was there.

They gave me this freakin beater of an old pick up truck to drive along the side of the river at night to check that the dykes were still holding. The thing was beast to drive, huge, and held together by rust alone, but it had 4-wheel drive, which I was told was my only chance to save my own ass if anything went wrong and forget about the rest of the people in town.

I think they were hoping I would kind of slide the thing off the bank into the river so they could collect the insurance. It had a two-way radio that didn't work and a 75lb clutch with a mind of it's own. It was real treat to drive.

So I know exactly where the flooding occurred in Duncan, and I have to say I honestly feel sympathy for those affected, I was thinking about those people on the news just like I did that night when I was patrolling, knowing that they might have to evacuate their homes on my call. That's not a call anyone wants to make.

I remember the immense sense of relief of being able to report by the end of my shift that river was actually subsiding a bit. But man, it was close, I'm not sure if many people know how close it was then, but I saw it.

Brucie's Jukebox Party! Selection D2

You realize of course that I'm limited to playing what's on the jukebox, so we have to take the good with the bad.

I seem to have some barely recovered memory of being with my ex brother in law in Calgary in his 1974 Cadillac with the cruise control that only ever accelerated, and we stopped in at some truck stop where he bought an 8-track tape of Hank Snow's greatest hits. He was so pleased with his $1 purchase and the chance to share it with me on the 350-mile drive to Revelstoke.

I'm thinking, some messed up pervert could drive me home, an inbred hillbilly could drive me down a country road and put a gun to my head and actually pull the trigger after he had his way with me, anything would be better than this. He finally stopped playing that bloody 8-track by the time we got to Golden BC.

When my Sister told me she was leaving him, I never bothered to question why, it seemed unnecessary.

I've Been Everywhere - Hank Snow

This One's For Bob

After reading Bob's comments in a previous post about pope Benny and his merry little band of homo-hating henchmen, I will never be able to write about them again without thinking of this song.

So many memories from so long ago... blown to smithereens.

Benny & the Jets - Elton John

Brucie's Jukebox Party! Selection D12

No, I haven't forgotten about the jukebox party.

I dunno, this dude sounds like trouble, so despondent and upset that he's resorted to smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee like some wild thing with nothing left to lose.

Probably best to stay away from him or you might find yourself in a game of euchre after a trip to the bingo hall.

Cigarettes and Coffee Blues - Marty Bobbins

Catholics Confirm What the Rest of Us Already Know

As part of an ongoing effort to get to the root of the problem of sexual abuse within the Catholic Church, Bishops in the US commissioned a study to determine if there was any link to homosexuality, guess what they found:

A preliminary report commissioned by the nation's Roman Catholic bishops to investigate the clergy sex abuse scandal has found no evidence that gay priests are more likely than heterosexual clergy to molest children, the lead authors of the study said Tuesday.

The full report by researchers at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice won't be completed until the end of next year. But the authors said their evidence to date found no data indicating that homosexuality was a predictor of abuse.

"What we are suggesting is that the idea of sexual identity be separated from the problem of sexual abuse," said Margaret Smith of John Jay College, in a speech to the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops. "At this point, we do not find a connection between homosexual identity and the increased likelihood of subsequent abuse from the data that we have right now."

I've known that for years, I made a point of hunting down every study I could find and the results are always the same.

It kind of runs counter to Pope Benny's little anti-gay campaign that's been going on since he took office. That man has a very disturbing and decidedly non-spiritual problem with homosexuality that only betrays himself and the church he leads. People in patriarchal fag palaces shouldn't protest too much, me thinks.

Good for the American Bishops for at least being honest about it, so far.

Just Like The First Time

Some people can rightfully rake me over the coals for this, but I laughed my ass off when I saw it.



Yeah, there's no quasi homosexual, misogynistic things going on here, nobody's ever heard of that before.

This pretty much explains where the fear that makes this world such a mess comes from.

Playing With the Scanner

I got the old, antique scanner going, with the aid of my old, antique laptop because it's the only computer that can still run an operating system that's compatible with the scanner. This is sort of the equivalent of our grandfathers hauling their old 78 speed records and playing them on those old mono "Hi Fi" systems.

I'm sure I could make the images better, I used to do magazine quality work with this stuff, but that's not the point, I'm just fartin around. Besides, the photos are really old and grainy, taken on a 110-film instamatic.

All images enlarge when clicked


This first shot is a series of photos I took from my balcony in Calgary back in 1980 or 1981, I just kind of quickly threw them together in Photoshop now. People who know the city will recognize the Sun Life Plaza when it was under construction. If you've been there a long time, you might recognize the Sheraton Hotel, that little round Vegas style building, which I was told was the tallest building in Calgary when it was built, all twelve stories of it. It was a pretty funky little place to drink too.

Those buildings are at 4th Ave SW and 1st St SW, I took the photos from 2nd Ave SW. At the time, on the other side of the Sun Life Plaza was the Greyhound Bus Depot, which is where I worked as a security guard, go figure, we're stho butch. I believe the Trans Canada Tower stands there now.

This second photo is of me sleeping, in Calgary. When I placed the photo on the scanner I noticed a caption on the back that reads "Bruce, looking for work", that bitch roommate of mine, all he ever did was get me stoned. It was probably two days after that I got a job with Budget Rent A Car, driving cars between downtown and the airport.



This next shot is of me in Toronto a couple of years later, working security again like the big butch thing I am. OMG! I had a lap! The only thing I miss about those days is the 28" waist, skinny before it was fashionable.



I had a bachelor apartment in Parkdale, at King & Spensor, with chocolate brown shag carpeting well after it was fashionable, and apparently hadn't been cleaned since. I borrowed my sister's vacuum and emptied the bag three times on the first day, special. Oh, and I found some roaches in the cupboards, right next to the dead roaches, first time I had ever seen a cockroach, even more special.

So there's a bit of personal history for you. Whenever I used to look at these things while they were still early history for me, I was horrified. I was so cluelessly image conscience that I swore nobody should ever see this stuff ever.

After I moved to Toronto and saw people in purple track pants walking down Yonge Street talking to themselves before there were cell phones, I looked at myself and said; "What were you so worried about?"

That Catholic Compassion Keeps Ringing True

I could keep this blog going just on stories about the Catholic Church alone and I would never run out of material, perhaps I should have named it Catholic Attitude.

The entire world has already reported about the little hissey fit The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington pulled over a proposed same sex marriage law in Washington DC.

The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington said Wednesday that it will be unable to continue the social service programs it runs for the District if the city doesn't change a proposed same-sex marriage law, a threat that could affect tens of thousands of people the church helps with adoption, homelessness and health care.

Under the bill, headed for a D.C. Council vote next month, religious organizations would not be required to perform or make space available for same-sex weddings. But they would have to obey city laws prohibiting discrimination against gay men and lesbians.

Fearful that they could be forced, among other things, to extend employee benefits to same-sex married couples, church officials said they would have no choice but to abandon their contracts with the city.

Nice, it's good to know that the love the sinner, hate the sin thing is working out so well. Not unlike the same threat they made in England when it was proposed that gays could adopt children and they threatened to close all the orphanages. This is that Catholic compassion hard at work for the good of all of us.


But the cutest story of all this week is that gay tourists are not welcome at the Vatican, when a reporter asked a Vatican Bishop about gay tourism to the Vatican.

Publisher Steinmetz clarified that what was meant by gay travel was traveling for the purpose of a visit, not as a demonstration. To this the Bishop replied, “I consider if someone is homosexual, it is a provocation and an abuse of this place. Try to go to a mosque if you are not Muslim. It is abuse of our buildings and our religion because the church interprets our religion that it is not ethical.

Now, anyone who has spent five minutes studying art and architecture knows that the Vatican had three major architects in its formidable days, two of them, Michelangelo and Bernini, are both well documented to have been gay. Maybe not gay as we know it today, but they had a fine appreciation for their fellow men as some of us could only hope for now.


I mean look at the place, if this isn't the biggest, most elaborate fag palace in the history of all human existence, I don't know what is.

And those selfish little bitches don't want me there…

Brucie's Jukebox Party! Hallowe'en Special!

These songs aren't on the wallbox, but it's Hallowe'en and they are from the same general era, they knew how to do it right back then.

Of course they didn't have music videos back in the day when I had a pet dinosaur, but this stop animation Lego version is fantastic, it's like Rick & Steve do Hallowe'en.

I just found out that the Condi Ling character on Rick & Steve is voiced by Margaret Cho, I should have known, it's perfect for her. The resident insecure fag hag, or "alternative lifestyle companion" as she prefers to be known, who has a way of making every man she meets gay. You have no choice but to love her.

Monster Mash - Bobby "Boris" Pickett & the Cryptkickers


This next song isn't necessarily a Hallowe'en tune and just in case you needed any more proof that Brucie's a sick puppy, ever since I was a kid I've always associated it with the occasion.

What can I say? Somehow it spoke to me. I was eight when this song came out and though it was controversial, I thought it was brilliant. It sums up the prevailing attitudes toward mental illness in the Sixties and I think I kind of took it as a cautionary tale. I should shut up now.

They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa! - Napoleon XIV

Toon Time Hallowe'en TRIPLE Bill!

Yeah I know, I spoil you guys sometimes.

On this video I couldn't help but notice the very first opening credit that proudly proclaims: "NRA, Proud Member, We Do Our Part", Jeez man, why don't you just fuck me gently already? That "We Do Our Part" line sounds like something simplistic like Sarha Palin would say, it's easy to see how induhvidual self-justification has a long history in the US.

Betty Boop - Halloween Party - 1933


Now here's something I didn't expect to find. This is a Max Fleischer silent from 1928 featuring Koko the Clown. I never knew about this one before, and entertainment value aside, it's quite an ingenious cartoon considering it's from the very earliest days of animation. It actually reminds me of some National Film Board of Canada work.

Max Fleischer - Koko’s Haunted House - 1928


Though our feature today is not a Hallowe'en them, it does have a creepy old man, and Cab Calloway. You can't go wrong with Cab Calloway as far as I'm concerned, and I haven't had him on this blog thingy in a while. Have I mentioned that I'm a lifelong fan of Cab Calloway?

Betty Boop & Cab Calloway - The Old Man of the Mountain - 1933

Brucie's Jukebox Party! Selection C9

This is the only version of this song on YouTube, so you'll have to put up with the little intro bit at the start, it's worth it.

Butterfly Baby - Bobby Rydell

Sorry Barbie, He's Just Not Into You

Meet Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken, that's the actual name as it's being marketed. I decided a long time ago that the world is such a strange little place now there's no point in making shit up any more, all I do is report it.

Perhaps you saw it on a pop culture news site, a cable TV network, or on one of our favorite comedian's Twitter page. If you haven't yet seen Barbie Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken Doll, well, here he is! Now your life is complete. He's part of a Palm Beach Collection of dolls, but really, this is the winner of the batch. Rooted hair! White pants after Labor Day! Bite-sized dog! This doll has it all.

I know this Ken isn’t actually being marketed as gay, I'm guessing Mattel doesn't think they can get away with that, but come on, gayer than a picnic basket doesn't even come close to describing this thing. This makes the old Earring Magic Ken actually look like Larry the Cable Guy, even with the purple jacket and cock-ring necklace.



Based on some of the gay roommates I've had over the years, this thing is going to sell like wildfire just for the camp value alone. I know the marketers at Mattel put a lot of work into Ken's makeover years ago and that's how they came up with the Earring magic version, apparently it was decided that little girls want Barbie to have a gay boyfriend. It sold like crazy too, to gay men before they bowed to the homophobes and pulled it off the shelves.

But if they honestly think that what Barbie needs now is a sugar daddy of all things, especially one that looks like that, then they’re playing to sexism in a very strange way. Besides, I could use a sugar daddy myself, so don't muscle in on my territory, girlfriend.

And his little dog too! Oh, I hate little dogs, especially when they're owned by men. I can't deal with a man that has a dog that could make a nice light snack for an average cat. Ok, so she can have him after all.

Now that I think about it, that hair makes him look a bit like a televangelist with a taste for the good life, you think he keeps Barbie just for cover? You're not fooling anybody, Ken.